Spiritual Health

Listening is challenging because it involves surrendering control—and if you’re fearful of what you might hear, it feels unsafe to let go.

Listening to God

I often find that my best ideas and moments of clarity arrive during times when my mind is naturally at ease—like when I’m driving or working out. In those moments, inspiration flows freely, almost as if every positive thought and flow of ideas aligns perfectly. But as soon as I leave the gym or finish my drive, the demands of life creep back in. Those beautiful ideas fade away. It’s a reminder of how easily clarity can slip through our fingers when we move out of the quiet and back into the noise.

The verse, “Be still, and know that I am God” (Psalm 46:10), speaks deeply to this. How often do we fill our days with movement and distractions? We find ourselves caught up in work and screens. We engage in whatever keeps our minds busy. I have fallen into this trap. Missing out on the gentle moments where God wants to draw close and speak peace and guidance over my life. Sometimes I catch myself wondering, “What blessings have I overlooked because I’ve been too distracted to listen?”

Listening to God means making room for stillness—setting aside our busy thoughts to be present with Him. In those quiet moments, we might hear His whispers of love. We may also find reassurance. He can reveal the next steps He’s placed on our path. By giving ourselves space to be still, we open ourselves up to His voice. Which is always there, ready to speak when we’re ready to listen.

Inspiration: Listening to God – Our Daily Bread

Physical Health

Listening to Our Bodies

A few years ago, I was running on empty, constantly keeping myself busy to avoid slowing down. Self-care fell by the wayside, and I brushed off my own needs, both physically and emotionally. I grabbed meals on the go. They were quick fixes from places like Taco Bell or Wendy’s. This behavior was just another way I was avoiding really taking care of myself.

Eventually, my body started to show the effects of this neglect. Weight gain and mood swings took over. I continued to deny my body time to heal. As a result, I developed a benign tumor on my hip flexor. Which grew larger and more noticeable over time. When I finally had it removed, it was the size of a large steak.

It was a clear representation of what I’d been carrying both physically and emotionally. I knew immediately it was because of the stress. The emotional turmoil and past traumas I had pushed down in my body. In ignoring these parts of myself, I had disconnected from my body. My heart went unheard and my connection to others suffered. Even though I was denying the existence of what went unhealed, my body remembered and the symptom was the tumor.

Our bodies have an incredible memory. They hold onto experiences, emotions, traumas, and pains. We might try to ignore these feelings, but they wait patiently for us. Our bodies need us to slow down and give it the attention it deserves. If we keep pushing past our limits, our bodies eventually step in, giving us signals we can no longer overlook. These signs, are invitations to come back to ourselves with compassion, to start listening and caring for all that we carry within. Healing begins when we allow ourselves to pause, to tune in, and to give our bodies and minds the care they truly need.

Fantastic Read: When the Body Says No by Gabor Mate

Mental Health 

Listening to Others

I grew up in an era of, “Kids are to be seen and not heard.” Being unheard can be deeply painful. Many people carry feelings of loneliness, anxiety, and sadness simply because they don’t feel genuinely listened to. Loneliness, which affects nearly one-third of U.S. adults weekly and one in ten daily, is as harmful to health as smoking, according to recent studies. Our need for connection and understanding is vital. Yet, most of us believe we’re better listeners than we are, often missing the message due to distractions or assumptions.

“According to a survey, 96 percent of people think they are good listeners, yet people only retain about half of what others say, research shows. People are often distracted, thinking about what they are going to say or making assumptions when listening, which can lead to misunderstandings.” Psychology Today

Why is listening so challenging? Sometimes, it’s rooted in our past. We grew up in chaotic homes. Emotional availability was scarce. In such environments, we learned to listen for safety first. If unpredictability was common, listening is more about safety than understanding. We focus more on tone of voice and reactions than on content. These patterns can follow us into adulthood, causing us to judge or react prematurely rather than fully hearing others.

Family and cultural influences also shape our listening. We learn to talk over others or tune out when conversations became uncomfortable. This can make it hard to offer our full attention. But, there is good news. Practice can open doors to communication. It fosters relationship bonding that makes all of the effort well worth it.

To practice compassionate listening, start by putting away distractions. Silence your phone, set aside your thoughts, and focus entirely on the person in front of you. Listen, without judgment, without planning your response or interjecting your own stories. Simply be there in that moment with another person and offer your full attention. I have often found older folks are the best at this practice. If you want to learn how to listen better, visit your elders.

Learning to listen with an open heart nurtures our connection to others, to God, and to ourselves. By creating this safe space, we make others feel valued. They feel truly heard. Then, we, too, open the door to being heard.

Act of Service

Plan some intentional, undivided time for someone who needs your presence. Put aside all other distractions. Simply listen to them fully—it’s a gift of love that can mean more than words.

© 2024 Tonya Parsons, MA. @tawnymoments Spiritual Physical Mental Health. All rights reserved.