3 Things Women Really Want in a Relationship

A couple of people have asked me lately what women want, and a dear soul sister of mine nudged me to write about it too. With a combined total of 28 years of marriage—nine years the first time and 19 years the second time, with no breaks in between—you could say I have a bit of experience in this area. I have literally been with someone since I was 15 years old and I am almost 50 years old. However, I am very aware that someone older than me with more marriage years of tenure has probably even better advice than me…Alas, I still took a stab at what I have learned so far while being in long term relationships. 

So, let’s dive into three things that women generally want, with a lighthearted twist!

1. **Safety First **

This is just my POV, but men, the very first thing women want—besides faith (for the Jesus followers out there)—is to feel safe. They want to know that you will show up for them and any future kids, that you’ll commit and fight for the marriage, and that you’d even take on a Zombie Apocalypse or some crazy serial killer, if necessary. 

Once you reach that required metric of safety, women can then focus on the million other things that will make your life amazing. Remember: safety isn’t just about physical protection; it’s about emotional security, too. When women feel safe, they can truly shine bright. 

2. **It’s Not Just About the Money**

Now, this doesn’t always mean financial safety. Some women shoot for financial excess, understood, but it’s not necessarily about the dollars themselves. It’s about who men become when they work hard and tackle the challenges that lead to success. 

When you put in the effort and do the hard things, money usually follows, but more importantly, you develop into a stronger human. You become even more confident, capable and someone who who can stand up to their nonsense. They DO NOT want someone they can push around, even if they sometimes act like they do. 

Under no circumstances should you give in to their every whim or let them walk all over you. This is just like the rule in Gremlins: do not feed after 12 midnight. Under no circumstances give into their every whim or you won’t want to see what happens next! 

Both partners must hold onto their sense of selves and continue to grow while encouraging each other with love, support, and maybe a “Come to Jesus” moment here and there, when necessary.

3. **Commitment Through Thick and Thin**

As a Jesus follower, women want to know that their man is strong in his faith. If you have that foundation, she believes you’ll always be working toward a higher purpose with some discipline and standards. None of us are perfect, and sometimes one partner will need to step up when life gets rough for the other.

Women want men who will commit to those moments and work through challenges together. We love hard, and we have the God-given ability to create and nurture beautiful souls. Because of that, we might be a little neurotic and may need you to wrap your arms around us and let us know that everything is going to be more than okay.

At the end of the day, both partners want to make each other happy, but sometimes we don’t realize how hard the other person is working due to the immense love for their family. If we truly recognized that effort, we might just eliminate half of our arguments!

So there you have it! This isn’t an exhaustive list, and every woman is unique and not every woman desires a traditional relationship (I do, so this is my POV), but these are just three baseline points to start that are just the beginning, marriage 101, starting points. It’s all about safety, personal growth, and commitment. And remember, a little humor can go a long way in making your relationship thrive too! -T